Sameness

My first trip to the US took place in 1985 when I went to Los Angeles to visit the environmental organization Tree People. The founders of this organization (Andy & Katie Lipkis) had been in Stockholm where my dad and I met with them. They invited us and I felt that it was time for me to take a leap of faith and visit them. I was only 24 and had never travelled abroad on my own. That trip was definitely a leap of faith for me and I still remember how much I grew as a person during those 3 weeks when I stayed with Tree People and were taken care of like a "royalty" :) by members of this group.
As it is 30 years ago I don't remember details about everything I did but I was welcomed like Americans usually welcome people - with open arms and enthusiasm.

Despite a really bad cold that I caught I enjoyed myself tremendously during my visit and I still remember that I had thoughts that I wanted to live in the US. At that time I had no idea how hard it is to legally immigrate to the US, which maybe was a good thing. When I realized how hard it was to immigrate I thought that I would remain in Sweden and could not, even in my wildest imagination, foresee that I would meet with and marry an American.

It was pretty hard for me to come back to Sweden even after only 3 weeks as I felt "hit in the head" with the "smaller space" that was - and still is - in Sweden compared to the "bigger space" in the US. It is hard to put this into words but it is a feeling that permeates both countries. Sweden has been a fairly homogenous country for a long time (this is changing now with all the immigrants that are coming to Europe and Sweden) and there is a feeling of sameness in the Swedish society. People seem to appreciate to do things that others are doing, dress in similar clothes, have houses that look very similar, etc.
This is the opposite to the US where almost everything and anything is accepted and part of the American society. The number of people in each country is most likely a contributing factor (Sweden's population is only about 9.5 million people right now) but there is something else that has "colored" how things are done in Sweden. Exactly what that is, I do not really know but the word that came to me when I was thinking about this is "sameness."
A good example is something called "fredagsmys" in Swedish. It is a phenomenon that started some years ago when people in Sweden eat something "cozy" and maybe watch something on TV on Friday evenings. And this phenomenon actually spread to big parts of the Swedish population. Translated to English it would be something like "cozy Friday." The thought of something even remotely similar in the US is not possible.

I am now noticing this "sameness" when I am in Sweden and it feels odd to me as I have got used to the 'bigger space" in the US. One thing that attracted me to the US was the "bigger space" and all the options. This is a big thing for me as I have always felt different and the US is in many ways more allowing when it comes to differences. In that sense I have always felt more at home in the US.

Maybe Swedes are a bit like agent Smith in the Matrix movies. :)

Thoughts about cars

I never had a driver’s license when I lived in Sweden. That might seem odd when you live in the US but the Stockholm area has great public transportation with buses, trams, a subway system, and local trains. Now, I am used to having my own car and it is also needed when you live in a rural area.

When I am now in Sweden I will not rent a car as I do not know all the Swedish traffic signs and regulations so I would most likely be somewhat of a traffic hazard on the roads. ;) Also, most Swedish cars have manual transmission which I have almost forgotten how to use. Michael and I had two cars and one had manual transmission so I did learn how to drive that car at least somewhat decent. However, the car I have had for the past 10 years has automatic transmission which has made my manual transmission skills almost non-existent.

Tomorrow I will be leaving for about 8 days to go to two different parts of Sweden, Värmland and Dalarna, to visit friends and I am taking buses and trains. That feels much safer and I can relax and enjoy the scenery.

When I visited Sweden several years ago I noticed that the cars were quite a bit smaller than the cars in the US. Now I have noticed that people seem to drive cars that are significantly bigger. It must be a trend most likely. Many Swedes love US-related things so maybe the sizes of cars are influenced by the US "standard" size. I saw this pickup truck the other day and immediately felt more at home. :) Pickup trucks are very common in California but fairly uncommon in most parts of Sweden.

Being a tourist in your own country

Nowadays when I go to Sweden I actually feel like a tourist. It is an odd feeling to not understand how everything is done and having to ask people sometimes. But 18 years in the US is a long time and the country that I left is no longer there and many things have changed.

I had such an experience when I went shopping the day after I arrived. There is a big grocery store close to my friend's apartment in Akersberga - one of Stockholm's suburbs - and I went there to do some shopping to have my "base food" covered. One thing that I noticed was that many people in the store had a scanner and they were scanning the bar codes. As I had never seen this before I asked the young guy in the cash register what this was and he let me know that some people like to scan their food items and then pay for them without going through a regular cash register. This was completely new to me and we do not have these kinds of "novelties" in the small town of Weed where I live. Some of my blog readers who read my other blog in Swedish said that they had seen these scanners primarily on the east coast of the US.

Also, in a big city like Stockholm, there is quite a bit of theft and vandalism so many grocery stores have decided to keep the carts locked and chained. My friend (who I am staying with to start with at least) had given me a small "device" in plastic that she said she was using to unlock a cart. That was easy, but when I came back to return the cart after I was done shopping, it was not quite so easy to understand how to get the "device" out of the cart. An older, grumpy lady said "are you going to be done soon?" without offering any help. I apologized and said that I did not live in Sweden and was unclear how to do this. As I couldn't quite figure out what to do, I asked a younger, very nice woman who gave me the instructions I needed. I felt kind of silly but decided to take it with a grain of salt and some humor. At least, now I know what to do. :)

Also, I have just purchased my very first cell phone in Sweden! When I lived in Sweden cell phones had just started being sold but very few people owned one and they were huge compared to today's phones. The Swedish company Ericsson was the main company for a long time in the cell phone market. Nowadays, there are lots of different companies that sell phones in Sweden.
We'll see if I will manage to set up my phone without issues. ;) I bought a fairly simple phone as I am not planning on using it for being online but mainly for being able to make and receive phone calls and send and receive text messages. But again, I felt out of place in the store where I bought the phone as things work a little bit differently in Sweden than in the US when it comes to prepaid phones which this is. I could not even sign up for a phone with a contract as I do not have any credit history at this point in Sweden.

I am noticing how much has changed in Sweden during these years that I have lived in the US and that my knowledge of Sweden is very old at this point. When you do not live in a country you lose touch with the day-to-day activities and it definitely takes some time to get up to speed.

One thing that sometimes makes me chuckle is how narrow Swedish streets are. The street that is outside my apartment in Weed is probably 3-4 times as wide as many roads are in Sweden. This one is a road that many, many cars use every day and it is still very narrow. These differences are pretty interesting and sometimes amusing.